by Bob Langham

This list is a work in progress. As I go through my work week, and my daily life, I will certainly encounter more people that annoy me and of course I will do my best to avoid them and list them on this blog as a community service. 

  • People who say they will “shoot me an e-mail.”
  • Adults who pronounce “striped” as “stripe-ed”  and “naked” as “neckid”
  • Doctors who use slang for body parts- “I am going to need you to get undressed Mrs. Peterson so I can take a look at that cooter.”
  • People who sing Happy Birthday like they are at an Broadway musical audition
  • Adults who wear Santa hats 
  • Co-workers who dial out or check their voicemail on speaker phone
  • People who call me Chief
  • People that give me unsolicited back rubs
  • People who make sound effects in a work environment for no apparent reason
  • People who feel the need to announce their bowel movements – “Gotta go make a deposit.” “I’ll be down the hall losing a few pounds.” “Gotta go send a package special delivery.”
  • Adults who stick their tongue out of their mouth for concentration when writing
  • Guys who are so hairy you cannot tell if they are wearing a shirt or not from a distance
  • People that use numbers in place of letters – For example, 4get about it, L8ter  
  • Anyone who wears a jacket or sweater indoors all year around
  • People who open their car door at a traffic light just to spit on the ground
  • People who sign their pets’ names on greeting cards
  • People who drive while holding their pets
  • Blue tooth phone users – do these people know how stupid they look?
  • People who dress up as the characters in a movie for a movie premier
  • People who think they have immunity from a traffic citation or towing if they put on their hazard lights when parking in a no parking zone
  • People other than Jesus that want to talk to me about Jesus
  • People that audibly clip their nails in public, especially at work
  • People who when mentioning an amount in billions feel obligated to say “That’s billion with a “b.”
  • Women with a belly/gut that wear clothing that exposes their midriff intentionally or not- do these people own a mirror?
  • People who think I should be as fascinated with what they have to say as they are saying it.
  • People who wear theme sweaters that coincide with the season ( pumpkin design on Halloween, Christmas trees/snowmen for Christmas)
  • Adults who think it is cool to play air guitar when they hear a song they really like
  • Guys who think hanging a Playboy bunny logo air freshener from their car rear view mirror will make them a hit with the ladies – so just out of curiosity, what scent do they use for that?
  • People who put Christmas wreaths on their car grills for the holiday season
  • People that put a “Mr.” before my first name when ever they say it (For example, “Mr. Bob, can I talk to you about something.”
  • People who feel like they have to comment on what I am eating at work in the loudest possible voice, so me and my lunch become the center of attention. (For example, “Mr. Bob, SOMETHING SMELLS GOOD! WHAT ARE YOU HAVING?)